puteri nur fitri

what is a tiny helpless girl to do in this huge round world?is it a lesson?or is it a punishment?well,she's just helpless and lost.she've no one to depend on in her family,she can only depend on this 3 outsider who she treasure alot.at the same time she's trying to avoid them.but why?she just don't want them to see her sad,cry so on and so forth.in her mind it's not worth showing her saddness off.she just don't want her treasured ones to worry bout it so much.they can't do anything but to lend her their shoulders n ears.but is it enough for her?what does she want from life?well,you should ask her yourself.is it worth staying under the same roof with your family who always throw their tantrums at you even if you're not at fault?if it's her mistake she would understand,accept and she can't fight back cause it's her mistake.but why is it so hard for her brothers just to show her some love and care?why can her brothers shower other girls who is not their blood with love,but not her sister?is she a jinx??didn't they think bout her feelings?what are they trying do teach her?whatever she do in that house is always wrong.sometimes she just wish her late father would come back in this world again.without her father everything wreck.just like that.no one is the same,everyone want to be in-charge.is it worth being good?is it worth listening?well,she couldn't asked for more because she have who she wants by her side.and they wouldn't let her down.after giving some thoughts she don't want them but her family.she would do anthing for them but they would appreciate it just for a minute after that they're back to their normal stupid damn behaviour.why is this happening to her?what big sins have she done?every night she would sit in her room,alone,smoking and thinking bout her life.she's always cries at night without fail.thinking back is it worth the tears??why should she appreaciate someone who don't feel te same?but,how could she think such a way?they are her bloods afterall.sometimes when someone asked bout her family she would make up some strories so that people outside wouldn't know how she really feel inside.her heart breaks whenever she sees a happy family.she thought why can't her family be like others.haha.well,her used to favourite brother always told her that we can't compare others,but after he was attached he simply throw his damn stupid sister aside.how did she feels when the one who she really trust and depending on treat her this way?well,tell you want she just want to be damn bad till everyone back at home hate her so much.but she just don't have the heart to do it.she might be bad and naughty at times but she's not bad.she knows her limit.but what the hell.this is real world.what is she suppose to do?someone told her to be patient but patient alone is not enough.wondering when will everything be fine.